How the Fear of Failure Keeps Anxious High Achievers Stuck
From the outside, it looks like you have it all together—but inside, you’re often battling a fear that no one sees. As an anxious high achiever, you are used to getting shit done and doing it well. On the outside, it looks like you get it done with ease. But on the inside, it’s a different story. The fear of failure and what others would think is always there. Behind every promotion, award, or achievement, is sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and imposter syndrome. The fear of failure leads you to overcommit, stay in situations that no longer fit, over-prepare, and engage in people-pleasing tendencies. This blog will cover how the fear of failure keeps anxious high achievers stuck.
The Paradox of High Achievement
If you are a high achiever, you likely have a proven track record of success. You got into med school, law school, or your MBA program, and finally are where you always dreamed you would be. But with these achievements and success comes a lot of pressure. The pressure to get into a competitive program, to obtain a “good job” after graduation with a great salary. That pressure may have helped you succeed, but it can also keep you stuck in a cycle of burnout and anxiety. There can be a fear that one misstep or one mistake will unravel all the hard work you have spent decades working towards.
How the Fear of Failure Shows Up in Anxious High Achievers
For some folks, the fear of failure isn’t necessarily loud. It can be subtle and quiet—lurking in the shadows whispering “Don’t mess up.” Below are some ways in which the fear of failure can show up for high achievers.
Overthinking every decision: Racing thoughts keep you up at night and you overthink literally EVERYTHING! Thoughts similar to “What if I make the wrong move?” and “Am I making the right choice?” take up a lot of mental space.
Avoiding risk or change: Most of us tend to avoid situations that invoke uncomfortable feelings. So it can be easy to “play it safe” as a way to avoid taking a risk and it not working out. This can show up as staying in the safe job, the safe relationship, or even the safe version of yourself.
Perfectionism: Most high achievers struggle with perfectionism. “If it’s not perfect, it doesn’t count.” This may be related to your career, your workouts, relationships, and habits. Perfectionism can feel safe but it actually leads us to live a life defined by unrealistic expectations.
Procrastination masked as “waiting for the right time”: Procrastination doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Usually, procrastination pops up as a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings, and using the reason of “waiting for the right time” can keep us stuck. Moving towards what we want, whether it’s applying for a new job or asking for a raise, despite uncomfortable feelings is how we make change happen. If you wait until you are never afraid, you might be waiting for a long time!
Overachievement as a shield: This one reminds me of Brene Brown’s work on worthiness and belonging. If we don’t feel worthy, it can be easy to tie our worth to our overachievements as a way to overcome feelings of inadequacy.
Why the Fear of Failure Keeps High Achievers Stuck
Below are a few examples of how the fear of failure keeps high achievers stuck and how it impacts them both professionally and personally.
- Staying in jobs or careers they hate because leaving feels like a failure.
- Not pursuing big dreams unless they’re guaranteed success.
- Burnout masked as dedication- because slowing down means “you won’t be as productive.”
- Tolerating too much (toxic bosses, poor boundaries, self-neglect) to keep up the image of being capable and in control.
- Living in overcommitment because you are seen as the “reliable one” and “the dependable one.”
Final Thoughts
If you are a high achiever who struggles with anxiety, imposter syndrome, and the fear of failure, you’re not alone. The fear of failure doesn’t have to keep you stuck. Therapy with me can help you thrive without anxiety and fear holding you back.
Tackle Your Fear of Failure with Therapy for Anxiety in Austin and throughout the state of TX!
The fear of failure shouldn’t be the one calling the shots. You deserve to take risks at your job, own your achievements, and know that you are worthy despite them. If you are a high achiever who struggles with anxiety and the fear of failure, Therapy for Anxiety in Austin, TX can help.
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Other Services Offered by Dr. Molly Moore of Moore Psychotherapy
Are you a high-achieving woman who struggles with anxiety, imposter syndrome, and burnout? I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, TX who specializes in working with high-achieving women just like you. In addition to helping clients ditch anxiety and overthinking with Therapy for Anxiety, I also help women overcome self-doubt and feeling like a fraud with Therapy for Imposter Syndrome. Therapy for Burnout is for those folks who are exhausted—emotionally and physically—to find relief and be productive without sacrificing their needs. In my practice, I provide Online Therapy in Texas. To learn more about me and the work I do, check out my About Me page and my blog.