Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honor
I remember the first time I heard that burnout wasn’t a badge of honor. It came from an old boss who strongly encouraged staff to take mental health days, engage in self-care, and take care of themselves. WHAAAAT?! This was unlike anything I had ever experienced, especially coming from an administrator. And yet, it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Why We Experience Burnout
You’re the go-to person at work or in your personal life. You take on several tasks, are on all the committees, and leadership roles, and are known as the helper. You are the one in your personal life that people turn to for support even when we feel like you are drowning and have nothing to give. People know that they can rely on you and they know that you will get the job done well. You may take pride in being this person, heck, others may have praised you for your dependability, the one who goes above and beyond, and the person that everyone turns to. The one who does it all. And it may be a source of self-esteem. It feels good to be needed. But you’re exhausted and you know you can’t continue like this for much longer.
Burnout happens when we have been stuck in the stress cycle and have not completed it. I highly recommend the book “Burnout” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. I’m also a fierce advocate that burnout is RARELY an individual problem but a systemic one which I will talk more about in a future blog (hello patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism).
It may go against what society tells us which is that we need to be everything for everybody all the time. It may go against what feels good to us. Because how often are people praised for taking a day off because they need it? But I’m here to tell you- you deserve to not feel depleted all the time. You deserve to be in environments that value your overall well-being, not just what you can produce.
Signs of Burnout
Most of my clients come to me either on the edge of burnout or completely shut down because they’ve been experiencing burnout for quite some time. But how do we know when we might be heading that way?
There can be many signs you might be experiencing burnout, which may look different than how your friend or co-worker experiences burnout. Some people may experience primarily physical symptoms while others may notice more cognitive or emotional symptoms.
Physical symptoms may include trouble sleeping, GI issues, feeling fatigued that doesn’t go away with rest, etc.
Cognitive and emotional symptoms may include feeling more irritable, negative thoughts about your abilities, feeling like the work you do doesn’t matter, etc.
It’s important to understand how burnout shows up in your life so you can notice it before you get to the point where you are ready to quit your job and buy a one-way plane ticket to an island.
Moving Away from Burnout
Can you rewrite the narrative that you have to be everything to everybody? Are there places in your life where you feel burnout the most—job, relationships, etc? And is there a small step you can take today to do something different? Maybe that is setting boundaries with family and friends and protecting your energy. Or starting a relaxation routine in the morning and at night. These things won’t fix burnout, but they will be small stepping stones that may lead to bigger changes in the future.
If you don’t take time to take care of yourself, your body will make you take the time. The body is so wise. It’s trying to communicate to us all the time but most of us are too busy to listen. What is your body trying to tell you? What does it need more of? Less of? And can you honor what your body is communicating to you? So let go of burnout as a badge of honor and start honoring yourself and your needs.
Can Therapy Help with Burnout?
YES! While I wish I had a magic wand that could dispel the patriarchal and capitalist standards that lead to burnout, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Through therapy, we can explore what is contributing to your burnout and how you can take care of yourself in a society and system that preaches the opposite.
Ready to make a change?
1. Send me a brief message here!
2. I’ll reach out shortly and we will schedule a brief consultation call to ensure that therapy with me will be a good fit.
I am here to help you leave behind the self-doubt and constant overwhelm that keeps you stuck. I want you to have a rich and fulfilling life without sacrificing what matters most to you. I offer effective online therapy anywhere in Texas for clients experiencing self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout. If you’re ready to make changes and do the hard work- reach out today to get started!