“I Feel Like a Fraud”: Imposter Syndrome Explained

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Most of my clients are high-achieving and motivated women. They are driven, accomplished, and successful. From the outside looking in, they have it all and they have it together. But internally, they often are filled with self-doubt. They fear being exposed as a “fraud” and believe their accomplishments are based on external factors rather than their own competence and worthiness. They tend to seek out reassurance from others that they are good enough, yet the relief they feel from this reassurance is temporary and fleeting.

It's important to note that imposter syndrome is not based on objective reality. Rather, it stems from internalized feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. And it is often fueled by high expectations, perfectionism, or a fear of failure. Because those who experience imposter syndrome fear that others will “find out” they are a “fraud”, they tend to keep their fears to themselves. However, they would likely be surprised to learn how many other accomplished individuals feel like an imposter.

I know firsthand how crippling imposter syndrome can be. Throughout my doctoral program, I felt like a complete fraud and with each milestone I kept waiting for my professors to figure out that I wasn’t supposed to be there. When I would receive positive comments and praise, I felt like I could exhale…..  that is until the next milestone where I would think “This is the time they figure out I am not meant to be here.”

Signs of Imposter Syndrome

Below are some common themes I hear from clients who experience imposter syndrome.

-        Living in Fear: Fear is so prevalent when we struggle with imposter syndrome. You may feel worried that others will find out you don’t know what you are doing. Or maybe you fear asking for a raise, setting boundaries at work, or disappointing your boss. Not taking risks because you doubt your abilities and think others are more capable are also common.

-        Attributing Success to External Factors: Most of my clients who experience imposter syndrome struggle to believe that their successes are due to their own abilities and they tend to attribute them to external factors such as luck, timing, or other people's help.

-        Difficulty Accepting Praise: Feeling uncomfortable or unworthy when receiving praise or recognition for your accomplishments is also common. Individuals who struggle with imposter syndrome may minimize their successes.

-        Self-doubt: Despite being high-achieving and successful, my clients struggle with self-doubt. This self-doubt may be constant, always there telling you that you don’t have what it takes. Or it might be there in background and gets activated when you try something new.

-        Comparison to Others: Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior or inadequate as a result is common with those who experience imposter syndrome.

Where Can Imposter Syndrome Show Up?

While imposter syndrome can show up in every aspect of our lives, most of my clients experience imposter syndrome as it relates to their careers.  They often question their success and accomplishments and believe that they are just “lucky” and don’t deserve them. They doubt their qualifications and don’t take risks for fear that they will be exposed as incompetent. I often see imposter syndrome flare up when clients are experiencing change or taking on a new role, job, or experiencing a career transition. Imposter syndrome thrives in environments that may be inherently competitive such as graduate school and competitive workplaces. Other areas where imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head is in relationships, our roles as parents, etc. We may question if we have what it takes and falsely believe that others “have it all figured out.”

Is Imposter Syndrome Bad?

Imposter syndrome is a common experience shared by many, not a reflection of personal failure or inadequacy. We often believe that we are the only ones feeling this way.  Research shows that those who don’t experience imposter syndrome are actually the least capable while those who do, are usually the most capable. Doubting our abilities may lead us to self-reflect and never doubting ourselves may breed complacency. If imposter syndrome is keeping you from taking risks, seeing your strengths, and leaving you in a state of paralysis and self-loathing, it might be time to work on it with a trusted professional.

Can Therapy Help with Imposter Syndrome?

YES! Online therapy is a wonderful resource for you to explore how imposter syndrome may show up in your life and keep you from seeing your true potential. Your life does not have to be ruled by self-doubt. You deserve a life where you see your inherent worth and I would love to help you get there. 

Ready to make a change?

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I am here to help you leave behind the self-doubt and constant overwhelm that keeps you stuck. I want you to have a rich and fulfilling life without sacrificing what matters most to you. I offer effective online therapy anywhere in Texas for clients experiencing self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout. If you’re ready to make changes and do the hard work- reach out today to get started!