When Rest is Productive
I remember being in the second year of my PhD program and thinking to myself “I never want to be this busy.” I was drowning between credit hours, seeing clients, working, doing homework, and trying to maintain a semblance of a social life. All of this ended up totaling 50-60 hour weeks. And everything felt like it was a glass ball that I needed to keep up in the air. I couldn’t skip out on the reading, it’s expected. I couldn’t pull back on my classes, job, or seeing clients as they were program requirements. My health greatly suffered, likely due to being in a constant state of high stress, and I was constantly in and out of the health clinic coming down with the latest virus.
Taking care of myself in a program that demanded unrealistic expectations seemed impossible. I know that I’m not alone in having the experience of being in an environment that actively works against you taking care of yourself. Society, messages from family, and hustle culture all promote unrealistic expectations of what it means to be “productive.” While I knew that something needed to happen, I struggled with internalized beliefs about what it means to be productive.
Like you, my clients are go-getters. They are highly motivated, driven, and set high goals for themselves. But they also don’t want to sacrifice themselves in the process, yet, they don’t see any other way. They struggle to engage in self-care, often sacrificing sleep, movement, and hydration. Loved ones have noticed and try to encourage them to “relax.” The problem is that when they try to relax, they feel unproductive and guilty. Like they should be doing more, sound familiar? Hopefully, you can hear it from me, you deserve to rest and sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do. Let’s talk more about what that looks like.
Ways to Incorporate Rest
Rest vs Recharging: Mindlessly scrolling on your phone at the end of the day before bed may help let ourselves escape stress, but it doesn’t leave us feeling recharged and restored. I highly encourage you to take a look at your self-care activities and reflect on if they are actually serving the purpose you want them to? Does it give you rest? Does it leave you feeling recharged or more drained? Engaging in activities that promote rest and recharging may require us to set boundaries surrounding our time. Setting a time limit on how often we are on social media, disconnecting from work, and connecting to things that promote overall well-being.
Prioritizing Sleep: I can’t stress enough the importance of sleep! Heck, my dissertation was actually on sleep and while I really don’t want you to read 300 pages of research, what I found was that the majority of young adults experienced poor sleep quality and quantity. Not surprising. Establishing a bedtime routine (e.g. lighting a candle, taking a hot shower, listening to calming music, using lotions or oils) can be extremely helpful in promoting the right environment to engage in sleep. Also, setting a bedtime and rise time and sticking to this as much as possible has great benefits. Instead of being rigid with this, you may set your bedtime in a range (e.g. fall asleep between 10pm-12pm). This usually takes practice and won’t happen overnight so give yourself some grace.
Mindfulness: Rather than scrolling on your phone, mindfulness is a great way to take a break and check in with yourself. Now I’m not talking about sitting for an hour and trying to not have any thoughts. But taking 5 minutes to tune into your breath and your body, noticing when your mind wonders (which it will), and gently bringing your attention back to your breath. What I like about mindfulness is that you can make it yours. You can do a brief guided meditation, grounding exercises by turning into your senses in the environment, or simply listening to calming music for 5 minutes and sitting with whatever comes up for you. By engaging in small moments of mindfulness, you can increase productivity while also taking a much-needed break.
Challenge What it Means to Be Productive: This is a hard one. A lot of us have internalized beliefs about what it means to be productive. My clients struggle with “relaxing” and find that their relaxation time is filled with anxious thoughts and muscle tension. Their “rest time” is spent thinking about all the things they need to do. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. Running yourself into the ground will impact your quality of work, your health, and your relationships. And I want you to engage in rest BEFORE you get to that point. By engaging in rest, you are being proactive instead of reactive. Reframing what it means to be productive can be especially challenging given the messages we receive surrounding productivity. But working towards challenging these messages and reminding yourself that rest is productive and completely necessary can be helpful.
Last Thoughts
Rest is productive. My clients find that they are more productive when they give themselves permission to slow down, rest, and set boundaries. They are the friend, coworker, and mom they want to be. They feel less guilty engaging in rest and prioritizing themselves.
Online Therapy for Burnout
Find yourself struggling to rest and recharge? Overwhelmed with feelings of guilt when you do try to engage in rest? Therapy can help. Through online therapy, we can explore what is contributing to your burnout and how you can take care of yourself in a society and system that preaches the opposite.
Ready to make a change?
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I am here to help you leave behind the self-doubt and constant overwhelm that keeps you stuck. I want you to have a rich and fulfilling life without sacrificing what matters most to you. I offer effective online therapy anywhere in Texas for clients experiencing self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout. If you’re ready to make changes and do the hard work- reach out today to get started!