Tried Therapy Before and It Didn’t Work? Here’s Why.
5 Reasons Why Therapy Didn’t Work for You Before
So, you tried therapy before, but it wasn’t exactly what you were looking for. The vibes were off. Sure, the therapist was nice and offered suggestions, but maybe you were left wanting more. Perhaps you walked away from the session feeling frustrated, like nothing was changing, and it wasn’t what you thought or hoped it would be.
While some of my clients are new to therapy, others have tried it before but felt it wasn’t the best fit. If this is you, you’re not alone. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all process, and sometimes, it doesn’t yield the results we hope for. That doesn’t mean therapy itself is ineffective—it just means something about the approach, the timing, or the fit wasn’t right. Here are five common reasons why therapy may not have worked for you before.
1. You Didn’t Have the Right Therapist
While I would like to believe that every therapist out there is great, I also know that is not the case. Yall. There are some therapists out there that are just not it. I’ve heard and experienced therapists talking more about themselves in session, often missing appointments, not responding to clients (in an appropriate timeframe and with boundaries), and straight up being judgmental. Sheesh!
It can be incredibly hard and time-consuming to find a therapist. Once you find one, start the process, and then realize it isn’t a good fit, it can be so defeating.
Signs your therapist may not have been the right fit:
You felt judged or misunderstood.
Their communication style didn’t align with yours.
They didn’t seem to grasp your unique experiences or struggles which left you feeling misunderstood.
You showed up to sessions more than they did (yes, it happens!).
What to do instead: Finding the right therapist can take time. Don’t be afraid to "shop around"—many therapists offer consultation calls to see if it’s a good fit before committing. Consider what you need: Do you want someone warm and nurturing? Direct and structured? A specialist in a certain area? A therapist who shares aspects of your identity? The right fit makes all the difference.
2. Maybe You Weren’t Ready for Therapy
Therapy is more than just showing up and talking about the past week. While some therapists might do that, that isn’t me. I work with clients that are ready to “DO THE WORK” necessary to help you achieve long-lasting results. We aren’t about band-aid quick fixes here. But that requires YOU to be ready and invested to fully engage in therapy.
Signs you may not have been ready for therapy:
You resisted talking about difficult topics.
You expected the therapist to "fix" you without active participation.
You weren’t ready to make changes in your life.
You felt defensive or shut down during sessions.
What to do instead: Readiness for therapy means being open to self-reflection, discomfort, and sometimes making hard changes. If you weren’t ready before, that’s okay. It might be worth revisiting therapy now with a fresh perspective and a willingness to engage. Just be really honest with yourself about if you are ready.
3. Unrealistic Expectations About Therapy
Many people enter therapy expecting immediate solutions or a structured "fix" for their problems. However, therapy is often a long-term process that requires patience and effort. A lot of folks want direct answers and solutions and think that the therapy is supposed to be about getting advice. Hard truth: Therapists don’t have all the answers. And we don’t have a magic want. But what we can do is provide different perspectives, explore coping skills, help you learn new ways of living connected to your values.
Signs you may have had unrealistic expectations:
You expected to feel better immediately after a few sessions.
You wanted your therapist to give you direct answers rather than help you explore your own solutions.
You were frustrated when therapy didn’t offer a clear roadmap to success.
What to do instead: Therapy is about self-discovery and gradual growth. Instead of seeking instant fixes, focus on small wins and long-term progress. Talk to your therapist about setting realistic goals and expectations.
4. You Didn’t Give It Enough Time
Therapy is not a quick fix. Many people go to a few sessions and expect immediate breakthroughs, but deep healing and change take time. If you left therapy after only a handful of sessions, you might not have given it enough of a chance to work. I usually work with my clients for at least a year. This isn’t because they have so many problems. It’s because lasting change takes time.
Signs you may have ended therapy too soon:
You left after only a few sessions because you weren’t seeing results.
You expected immediate solutions and felt disappointed when progress was slow.
You didn’t get to the deeper issues because therapy takes time to build trust.
What to do instead: Therapy is a process, not an instant cure. Commit to at least a few months before deciding if it’s working. If it feels slow, talk to your therapist about your expectations and frustrations—sometimes small shifts in approach can make a big difference.
5. External Factors Got in the Way
Sometimes, therapy doesn’t work because life is simply too chaotic, stressful, or overwhelming to engage fully. Financial constraints, lack of time, or major life crises can all interfere with the therapy process.
Common external barriers to therapy success:
Financial stress or inability to afford sessions consistently.
Work, parenting, or other obligations that made it hard to prioritize therapy.
Major life crises (such as a breakup, job loss, or health crisis) that made it difficult to focus on deeper healing.
Lack of a support system outside of therapy, making progress harder.
What to do instead: If external factors were the issue, consider adjusting the logistics. Can you find a therapist with a sliding scale fee? Do online sessions fit your schedule better? Is there a way to create more space in your life for therapy? Addressing these barriers can help therapy be more effective next time around.
Final Thoughts
If therapy didn’t work for you before, it doesn’t mean it never will. The key is figuring out what didn’t work and making adjustments. Maybe you need a different therapist, a new approach, or simply more time and readiness to engage in the process. Therapy is a journey, and sometimes, the first attempt isn’t the right one—but that doesn’t mean healing isn’t possible.
Therapy for High-Achieving Women in Austin and Throughout Texas!
Finding a new therapist and “starting over” when you’ve tried therapy before can be hard! But it is so important that you get connected to the right therapist for you. If you have tried therapy before but it didn’t “click,” feel free to take a look at my website and see if we might be a good fit.
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Are you a high-achieving woman struggling with anxiety, imposter syndrome, or burnout? Therapy with me can help! I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, TX who specializes in working with high-achieving women who experience anxiety, imposter syndrome, and burnout. Not in Austin, no problem! All services are provided online. Contact me here to get started!