“Is It Me, Am I The Problem?” Signs YOU Need Boundaries at Work
Setting boundaries is HARD. Most of the time, when we think of setting boundaries, we think about setting them in our relationships. Maybe we have felt taken advantage of or are being disrespected in certain relationships, and boundaries can certainly be helpful there. Boundaries can also be helpful in the workplace. Oftentimes, burnout, resentment towards work, and poor work-life balance can be a reflection of a lack of boundaries and being misaligned with our values.
If you are like my high-achieving clients, you may not be aware that they need boundaries at work. After all, you get shit done and do it well. But there are signs that you might benefit from setting boundaries with work. Read on!
Signs You Need Better Work Boundaries
Work boundaries aren’t just about saying no to overtime or declining extra projects…. although that is SO important! They’re about protecting your time, energy, and mental health so you can thrive in and outside of work. Here are some signs that you might need to tighten up your boundaries:
You constantly work late or check emails after hours, resulting in you missing important moments with family and friends
You feel resentful toward your boss, team, or company… after all, you’re the one putting forth the effort while others do less
You say yes to things you don’t have time for because you feel like you “should.”
Your personal time is filled with work-related stress, and there is no delineation between work and home life
You feel exhausted but struggle to take PTO
Sound familiar? Let’s dive into how different work personas struggle with boundaries.
The Reliable One: The “Go-To” Person for Everything
Are you the person everyone turns to when they need help? This was me! Need someone to handle a project even though I had already worked over my contracted hours? Done. Show up to work sick because people depend on me? Yup (pre-COVID).
Being the reliable one at work can feel good—it makes you feel valued and needed. And who doesn’t love that! But it can also lead to overcommitment, exhaustion, and a never-ending to-do list that’s not even yours.
Why You Might Struggle with Boundaries:
You fear letting others down or seeming unhelpful.
You take pride in being dependable, even if it comes at your own expense.
You believe that saying no will lead to consequences.
You want to be the one that everyone turns to.
The Overachiever: The Perfectionist Who Does It All
You take pride in going above and beyond. You don’t just do your job—you excel at it. You love it when you get external validation and receive positive feedback from clients, partners, or other professionals. Your attention to detail is what makes you great at your job.
But sometimes, that drive to overachieve comes at a cost. You’re constantly overworking yourself, and even when you’re exhausted, you still feel like you should be doing more.
Why You Might Struggle with Boundaries:
Your worth is tied to your productivity and accomplishments.
You fear that slowing down will make you less productive.
You want things “just right” and worry that something catastrophic will happen if they aren’t.
You feel like you have to “earn the right” to rest.
The People-Pleaser: The One Who Can’t Say No
If you’re a recovering people pleaser (or still deep in it), setting boundaries at work can feel downright impossible. You don’t want to disappoint anyone, and the thought of saying no gives you anxiety. But always prioritizing others’ needs over your own isn’t sustainable.
Why You Might Struggle with Boundaries:
You worry that saying no will make others dislike you.
You say “yes” to things because you are fearful of how others will react.
You equate being agreeable with being a good employee.
You avoid conflict at ALL COSTS.
Final Thoughts: Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
If you identified with any—or maybe all—of these workplace personas, you aren’t alone. It’s also important to realize that these workplace personas are not inherently bad. Being the reliable one, the over-achiever, or the people-pleaser has likely helped you succeed and get you to where you are today. But if this has become your main source of self-esteem or confidence or is causing you stress, it might be time to work on some boundaries.
Setting boundaries at work isn’t about being difficult—it’s about ensuring that you can show up as your best self without sacrificing your mental health and well-being. Whether you’re the reliable one, the overachiever, or the people-pleaser, learning to set limits is essential to avoiding burnout and building a sustainable career.
The truth is, boundaries teach people how to treat you. If you want to be respected, valued, and not overworked, you have to start by respecting your own limits. And if you’re worried about pushback, remember: the people who truly respect you will respect your boundaries, too.
Learn to Set Boundaries at Work With the Help of Therapy for High-Achieving Women in Austin, Texas!
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Are you a high-achieving woman struggling with anxiety, imposter syndrome, or burnout? Therapy with me can help! I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, TX who specializes in working with high-achieving women who experience anxiety, imposter syndrome, and burnout. Not in Austin, no problem! All services are provided online. Contact me here to get started!