Slowing Down in a World that Reinforces Busyness

In a world that often glorifies busyness and prioritizes external demands (thank you capitalism and the patriarchy), self-care is often seen as a luxury and indulgent.  Something that we don’t have time to do and it’s just another task on your list of things “to do.” My clients who are high achievers want to perfect self-care and are critical if they aren’t “doing it right.” They have difficulty relaxing and often feel guilty when they try and take time for themselves. After all, there’s still stuff to get done.

However, the truth is quite the opposite: self-care is a fundamental aspect of maintaining overall well-being and is far from a selfish act. It's a practice that empowers individuals to recharge, cultivate resilience, and navigate the demands of life more effectively.

Understanding Self-Care

Understanding what self-care is can help understand what it is not. The term “self-care” has been increasingly popular in the last 10 years but has often been associated with bubble baths, massages, face masks, etc. While these activities could certainly be part of someone’s self-care routine, I tend to see self-care differently.

Self-care encompasses a wide range of intentional activities and practices that prioritize one's mental, emotional, and physical health. It involves recognizing and addressing your needs, both on a practical and emotional level, to enhance your overall quality of life. It's about establishing healthy habits that contribute to long-term well-being. By consistently engaging in self-care activities, you can build resilience, prevent burnout, and feel more connected to yourself and your values.

The Importance of Prioritizing Yourself

In a society that often glorifies productivity and places value on external achievements, a lot of my clients have internalized these messages and find it difficult to prioritize their well-being without feeling guilty. However, prioritizing yourself is not selfish; it's a necessary foundation for a fulfilling and sustainable life.

You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup: The metaphor of "you can't pour from an empty cup" holds true when it comes to self-care. If you neglect your own well-being, it becomes increasingly difficult to support others effectively. Taking care of yourself enables you to show up more fully for your responsibilities, relationships, and commitments.

Stress Management: Chronic stress can have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health. We’re talking about poor sleep, feelings of anxiety, increased irritability, muscle tension, etc. This list goes on. Through engaging in self-care activities, we can effectively manage stress levels and prevent burnout.

Enhanced Productivity: Taking breaks and incorporating self-care into your routine can enhance productivity. By taking small breaks to engage in deep breathing, connect with a friend, or go for a short walk, you can increase your attention and productivity.

Improved Mental Health: Self-care is an essential component of maintaining good mental health. Activities such as mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation techniques contribute to stress reduction and emotional well-being.

Enhanced Relationships: When you take care of yourself, you're better equipped to nurture positive relationships and show up in your relationships authentically. Additionally, through setting boundaries (an act of self-care), you are modeling to others that you are valuable and giving them data on what you will and will not tolerate.

Dispelling the Myth of Selfishness

The notion that self-care is selfish often stems from a misunderstanding of its purpose. It's crucial to recognize that self-care is not about neglecting responsibilities or disregarding the needs of others. Instead, it's about creating a flow that allows you to fulfill your obligations while also prioritizing your own well-being.

Setting Boundaries: Self-care involves setting healthy boundaries. Something that can be immensely difficult to do. I get it. However, by setting boundaries with others, our time, and our energy, we actively choose how we want to show up. If we can tolerate the discomfort that may come with setting boundaries, we usually can see on the other side how necessary they are in living a sustainable life.

Teaching by Example: Prioritizing self-care sets a positive example for those around you, whether it's your family, friends, or colleagues. Think of someone close to you who may struggle with self-care, do your actions model what message you want to send them?

Recharging to Serve: Taking time for self-care is not a withdrawal from responsibilities; it's a strategic pause to recharge. As mentioned previously, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can certainly try. But what you will find is that your productivity and the quality of your work and interactions greatly suffer. It’s like running a marathon without taking a water break. So, take that pause so you can recharge and be more effective in your responsibilities.

Practical Self-Care Strategies

So if self-care isn’t just face masks and massages, then what is it? Below are some concrete strategies you can start TODAY to engage in self-care.

Prioritize Sleep: Quality sleep is foundational for overall well-being. Aim for seven to eight hours of sleep each night, and establish a consistent sleep routine to improve the quality of your rest. I understand that this is not always accessible, so think of ways that you can engage in rest even if sleep is difficult in this phase of life.

Mindful Moments: Integrate mindfulness into your day by taking short breaks for deep breathing, meditation, or simply being present in the moment. My favorite way of incorporating mindfulness is by playing a short (5-10 minute) guided meditation or listening to relaxing and calming music.

Nourish Your Body: Eat a balanced diet that provides the nutrients your body needs. Stay hydrated, and make choices that support your physical health. When was the last time you drank water? Looking around are you surrounded by caffeine cups? Fill up that Stanley and hydrate! Remember that nourishing your body is a form of self-care.

Regular Exercise: Physical activity has been shown to help improve sleep, stress levels, and mental health. I’m a huge proponent of engaging in movement that you enjoy, whether it's walking, yoga, or simple stretching.

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and establish clear boundaries in your personal and professional life. This prevents overwhelm and ensures that your time and energy are allocated thoughtfully.

Creative Outlets: Engage in activities that bring you joy and allow for self-expression. Whether it's art, music, writing, or another creative pursuit, these outlets can be therapeutic and rejuvenating.

Connect with Others: Reach out to a friend or supportive loved one to connect. Something as simple as sending a text message or a short phone call or Facetime can go a long way. In fact, research has increasingly shown that the quality of our relationships has a profound impact on our well-being.

Digital Detox: Do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling on social media? While not inherently bad, and sometimes might be necessary, mindlessly scrolling may only serve as a way to “check out” rather than to “check in” with what we need. Set some boundaries with your phone by setting a time limit on using apps and exploring other ways to meet your needs.

Professional Support: Reaching out for support when you need is an amazing way of engaging in self-care. While therapy sessions may only be 45 minutes once a week, my clients find that they look forward to that time when they know they can disconnect from the outside world and focus on themselves.

Learn How to Slow Down without Guilt with Therapy for Burnout and Anxiety in Austin, TX

While I wish I had a magic wand that could dispel the patriarchal and capitalist standards that lead to guilt when engaging in self-care, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Through therapy, we can explore what makes self-care difficult and find concrete ways for you to take care of yourself in a society and system that preaches the opposite.

Ready to make a change?

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I’m Dr. Molly Moore, a licensed psychologist in Austin, Texas, who specializes in therapy for anxiety, therapy for imposter syndrome, and therapy for burnout. I am here to help you leave behind the self-doubt and constant overwhelm that keeps you stuck. I want you to have a rich and fulfilling life without sacrificing what matters most to you. I offer effective online therapy anywhere in Texas for clients experiencing self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout. If you’re ready to make changes and do the hard work- reach out today to get started!